Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.

 

Happy

Excuse any misspellings. I’m doing this from my iphone…..

Happiness is a word that Is highly subjective. I’m laying in bed right now and obviously very unsuccessful at acheiving sleep at the moment. So I’m doing some mad contemplation and examination of my current state of being, and I realized that I am currently experiencing sincere happiness in my life right now. I am satisfied with everything that surrounds me. It is definitely not a life of perfection, and disappointment and frustration are inevitable. But my days always feel complete and I can go to sleep with a smile on my face. I guess the move back to the bay was a great decision afterall.

I realize that time will come again when this sheer happiness a absent, but I hope that this period of time lasts a little longer than average. I hope that others are also able to experience this level of joy that I’m in.

Good night. Sleep tight.

Played 11 times

current anthem

"Get Your Money Up" - keri, keyshia, trina

Life’s a climb, but the view’s great!

Hannah Montana Movie

Played 12 times

Comfortable - Trey Songz

This has been on mad repeat since I heard it.  I’ve heard Lil Wayne’s version when his album first came out, but Trey Songz is mos def my man.

…handle it”

Hmmm…

It’s been awhile since I blabbed.  I’ve been so busy with life!  But anyways, here’s what’s been occupying me.

1. Just got into grad school.

2. Quitting my job in San Diego and relocation back to the Bay.

3.  Got a new job in the Bay!

4.  Got my apartment in San Mateo.

5.  Thinking of decorating ideas.

6.  Starting the moving process (ugh!) but so excited for the moving day (May 3rd).

Reach for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.

from someone clever

It’s raining today.
So hate it, enjoy it, cry over it, or frolic in it.
But we need it.
Whatever you do, just stay careful.

Good Morning 2009…

2008 was bittersweet for me, and now I am ready for 2009.  I hope everyone had a fun new year’s eve.  I spent it with my family on a SF Bay cruise.  The $200 was worth the fireworks over MY beautiful city.  Too bad I didn’t get to see my friends after.  Traffic was horrible downtown…

Merry Christmas!

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and spent this occassion with the people that really matter in your life.

Reloading the Shoulders…

Last Friday was officially my last day of my undergraduate studies, and now I am just waiting for that paper that says Psychology, B.A.  It took me an extra semester past the suggested four years and three semesters past the three-year goal that I had for myself.  But all those numbers do not matter to me anymore because I am happy and proud of myself that despite the hardships I had to face during my college years, I was still able to rise above them and complete the task I had at hand.  I feel like a huge load was taken off my shoulders… but then reloaded again with the next step in life: career.

So what can I do with a major in Psychology?… everything and nothing!!!  You are able to do numerous things with the major.  This includes working with children, being a business consultant, working in HR departments, counseling, research, teaching, social work, etc… Basically anything that deals with people.  That is the upside.  The downside is finding places that would actually hire you with only a bachelor’s degree in Psychology.  Since it is such a broad area of study, employers desire those with post-graduate degrees in it.  Also, you will not get paid as high as you probably would like.  I believe the average annual salary is just around $37,000.  Working for an HR department would probably raise it to about $50,000+ but they don’t really hire for entry level positions.  They always look for about 3+ years of experience.  Blah…Blah…

So now, my next step in life is to get into grad school.  I really want to work with children with emotional disabilities so I’m thinking in getting my masters in special education.  USF seems to have a good program.  There is also a possibility of continuing my education in the future to be a school psychologists.  Unfortunately, many of the school districts are facing ridiculous budget cuts so many are not hiring full time and pay sucks!!!  I already got offered a job in San Diego but I really miss the Bay Area so I do not think I will take it.  I DUNNO!!!!…

Well just some suggestions:

1. If at all possible, have a realistic view point of your goals in life and start on the path early in your college career.  I’m sorry, but I knew so many people who desired to be doctors of some sort that just couldn’t hack it.  Look at what you really enjoy doing and enjoy doing well and use those natural talents to guide your career planning.  Now I find it funny that so many women want to go to FIDM because of the show “The Hills.”  Please make sure you really have the unique talent for it.

2.  Really consider the college you’re going to.  Out of college I already knew I wanted to major in Psychology and work with disturbed children some day.  I decided to go to University of California, Davis since it seemed to be a really good school and it was still fairly close to home but not too close.  I ended up hating it because there is absolutely nothing to do but go to frat and house parties.  Also, the psychology program was jsut way too broad that I didn’t feel a connection to the material.  I was happy that I transferred to San Diego State University because they seemed to really bring ths broad area of study into real life.  They taught me hands on therapy experience and research skills.

3.  NETWORK, NETWORK, NETWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Like I mentioned before, a major in Psychology is often just not enough because employers are looking for licensed workers with a focused area of study.  BUT, if you know someone in the field of interest or job you want to do then sometimes the extra schooling will not be necessary anymore.  Let’s face it, most jobs you really learn by doing and not learning from textbooks so for many, the information they learn at school is highly irrelevant.

4.  While in college, try to find a field related part time job.  I taught children for about a year (regular ed) and hated it.  Then I moved away to Southern California and started working at BEBE for about a year too.  It seemed perfect at the moment since I made pretty good money for a college student (about $17/hr) and I got discounts off the clothes I loved.  Now I look back and really regret it because it did nothing for my real career.  Luckily, this year I started working with children again and this time I really enjoyed it because it was in special education.

5.  After graduation, do not settle but also do not get lazy and lose hope.  I see so many graduates not finding the job they really want so they end up getting so depressed about it and just not working.  I suggest to keep on applying for the job you desire no matter how long it takes.  But in the meantime, while you wait for that perfect job, find one that pays the BILLS and those student loans!!!

Alright… that’s enough blabbing for now.  Until next rant.

AMDG… that’s what I was taught all through high school.  It is Latin abbreviations for the saying “For the greater gory of God.”  If you’re familiar with SI then you know what I’m talking about.  When I graduated high school, I knew I really wanted to make a difference in the world.  Yeah, it sounds cliche but I genuinely felt that way but I just didn’t know how.

Somewhere between the 5 nights a week partying, drunken moments, school work, work-work, sudden move to Southern California, personal issues, and life changing familial events, I lost sight of my personal vision.  I forgot all about making a difference and just thought, “I can’t wait to get out of college and make some REAL money.”

This semester I interned at a special education school working with students with emotional, learning, and conduct disabilities.  It was pretty extreme.  The kind of people you watch about in Law and Order SVU.  Providing companion therapy for these students were at times difficult because I come from such a different world.  It took me awhile not to be frightened of the stories I heard and provide as much help as I could for them.

One of the stories that touched me the most was about a 12 year old girl who I will call Jane (for confidentiality purposes).  Looking at her, she looked just like any other pre-teen girl who loved glitter, pink, flowers, and Hannah Montana.  Behind this facade, Jane has been sexually and physically abused by her own father (I wasn’t sure if it was biological or step-) since she was younger.  This was the ony world she knew and she associated sex with love.  Jane used to attend regular education classes until she was caught bringing boys into the bathroom and performing sexual acts for them.  To her, this is how she can feel loved and accepted…  Jane’s experiences has greatly affected her social and learning skills.  She is now slowly learning to live beyond this experience and into the “normal” that the greater society knows.

Stories like this (especially form such young people) broke my heart, and it again reminded me of AMDG.  Furthermore, this semester, I completed a women’s sexuality course that emphasized issues of violence, rape, sexual and gender identities, as it related to biological gender, race, age, and class… Heavy stuff.  I realized “This is my calling and I need to stop turning my back away from it.”

I urge you to also get involved in some way… It doesn’t have to be such a big action.  Start by educating yourself on the issues that surround you.  Please take a serious look at the video I uploaded.

Women (and men)… please do not compromise yourself by ignoring the insults and the degrading names (Bitch/slut/whore/skank…), instilling the fear of going out at night alone, of dressing the way you want to, fear of saying NO, taking hand gropes as you walk through the dance floor, being taken advantage of because you were just too belligerently drunk, seeing another woman (or man) be treated inhumanely… The list goes on.  The point is, if this is not what you desire, then you don’t have to take it.   Stand up, speak out, say no, change it, kick someone’s ass if you have to.  Just don’t say, “That’s just the way it is.”

Holiday Shopping

(My cocker spaniel guarding my miniature tree and the presents I have wrapped so far.)

17 more days till Christmas Day.  Are you done with all your holiday shopping?  I, for one, am NOT.  Despite my decision to start a month and a half before, I am still no where near finished.  UGH!!!  You would think that the malls would be less congested due to the current state of the economy, but no.  Shoppers still flock the malls and act as crazy as ever.  AND my pockets are sufferring!!!  Gotta love the holidays right?

Yes, it’s the season of giving.  As you check off the people in your shopping list, don’t forget about yourself.  I believe that before I can spoil others, I have to spoil myself.  Because the economy is down, many stores are desperate to sell their products.  This is the time to take advantage of it if you can afford it.

Well, I found a couple of good buys for myself.  Yesterday I bought two pairs of Citizens of Humanity jeans and it only cost me about $250 for both (tax included).  This is a really good price since their not the out of season styles you find at Nordstrom Rack.  They are still up to date styles that I bought from Barney’s Co-op.  For those of you who are not familiar with the store, it is a floor/department from Barney’s New York that sells products that cater to the urban chic fashionistas.  This single department expanded into independent stores.  I believe Barney’s only has two locations in California: Beverly Hills (on Wilshire) and San Francisco (on O’Farrell).  The Co-Op has a few more locations but I think they are concentrated in Southern California.  I visited the one in San Diego.  Check them out at http://www.barneys.com/. They have so many current style jeans on sale right now for men and women: True Religion, Citizens, J Brand, Chip N Pepper, etc…

My other favorite store is Bebe.  I am obsessed with it!  I worked there for about a year and never again!  But I can’t help but love their stuff.  Well I think the company is feeling the wrath of the economy right now and are desperate.  I just purchased a dress (new style) online that is originally $98 for $44.50.  OMG!!!  All dresses are (at least) 50% off right now.  On top of that I got $10 as a promo.  Bebe never does promos for their new products.  There are also other promos available so just check them out online http://www.bebe.com/gp/home.html.

Lastly, I am an underwear freak and Victoria’s Secret is my favorite.  I buy sets almost every month.  A few days ago I purchased gifts from there and they were giving free undies for any PINK purchase.  They are actually pretty cute.  They are boyshorts with studs on the back, and they come in pink or white.  I decided to buy items in separate transactions so that I can get numerous free undies.  FREE=GOOD!  They are also offerring 20% your entire purchase online with offer code “TWENTYOFF.”  Visit them at http://www2.victoriassecret.com/index.html.

OK guys… hope you get on that gift-giving hype and don’t forget to treat yourself too.  Happy Holidays :)

I’m so ready for the holidays.  October 31st to January 1st is the best.

Asia SF

Last week I came home to be with family and my BEST friends to celebrate my birthday.  I aways like to spend my birthdays with the people that really matter.  I didn’t really have anything special planned.  I think that’s just how it goes as you get older. UGH!!! Anyways, my boyfriend decided that he’s taking over the whole Saturday.  I was so sad because although I wanted to have dinner with him, I also wanted girl time as I do every year with them.  I didn’t have a lot of time, so I tried to at least see them before going out to dinner.  But for some strange reason they were either too busy, too sick, or just plain not answering my calls.  WTF!!!???   Then I started feeling really sad and emo.  I was thinking, “Some best friends I have!  They don’t even care anymore.”

Well the boyfriend wasn’t telling me what we were doing, and I wasn’t in the mood for it.  All he said was to get ready as if I were going out with my girl friends.  When we arrived at the place I had a mix feeling of excited and irritated.  I was excited because we were going to have dinner at Asia SF, a place where the servers and performers are transsexuals.  I’ve heard it was a really fun and interesting place.  I was irritated because this is really not the place I thought my boyfriend would take me on my birthday!!!

Well surprise, surprise.  As soon as we stepped through the curtains leading to the restaurant/bar I see my three best friends.  My boyfriend’s gift was taking me out with my best friends and paying for our dinner.  So that’s what all the drama was about…

Anyways, I highly recommend this venue to friends who just want to have fun and have a different experience in San Francisco, especially those celebrating birthdays or bachelorette parties.  The typical club events gets played out sometimes.  The food is great (filet mignon, mussels, Asian fusion delicacies) and reasonably priced ($40-$60 per person for 3-5 courses plus drinks, gratuity, and tax).  The bartenders are really friendly.  There is a small club downstairs which plays ok hip-hop music (by Bay standards anyway).  You are surrounded by fun, open-minded people.  And the transsexuals are amazingly beautiful!

Visit their website at www.asiasf.com.  I believe they are going to open another location in Hollywood, so I’m definitely gonna check that one out.  For those living in San Diego, I believe Lips is a similar concept (www.lipsshow.biz).

Here’s a picture of me and my best friends with one of our favorite performers, Aaliyah…

Here is a picture of my and my bestfriends with one of the performers.

She’s another performer.  I think they said she’s appeared on the Tyra Show and other shows…